Bella was just 13 when she learned that her mum had been diagnosed with cancer.
"In 2018, my life took an unexpected turn when my mum, who had always been my pillar of strength, was diagnosed with a rare form of chronic leukaemia. I can still vividly remember the moment I received the news - sitting in the car after school, a wave of uncertainty and fear washed over me. Cancer was a distant, terrifying concept, and now it was threatening to engulf my family. I felt alone and isolated, struggling to navigate a world that seemed unchanged while my reality had shifted dramatically.
At first, I found it difficult to discuss my mother’s diagnosis with school friends. I feared their reactions—would they treat me differently? Would they truly understand the emotional turmoil I was facing? These questions worried me as I tried to maintain a façade of normalcy, hiding my anxiety beneath schoolwork and extracurricular activities. Despite a few close friends offering their support, I often felt they could not grasp the enormity of my mum’s cancer diagnosis."
When a parent or guardian is diagnosed with cancer, it brings significant changes within the whānau and impacts rangatahi wellbeing.
"As the months passed, I began to learn more about my mum’s cancer. The knowledge that her illness was incurable weighed heavily on me. It was during this time that I was referred to Canteen and was soon connected with a support worker. It was invaluable to me having people to just listen and ask questions who understood and didn’t judge. It provided me a safe place to connect, feel my emotions, but also to try and just get on with normal teenage hood."
Having appropriate support and a safe space for rangatahi to discuss their feelings, and learn coping strategies, can greatly aid in their recovery and overall wellbeing.
"The support I received from Canteen has been pivotal for my mental health and wellbeing. I continued regular therapeutic check-in sessions with the Canteen clinical team, which provided a structured opportunity to reflect on my feelings and coping strategies. These sessions have been so precious, helping me manage stress and anxiety, especially during the challenging periods when my mum’s health would decline.
Attending the regular Canteen peer to peer events, like escape rooms and game nights, opened a safe space where I could connect with other rangatahi who understood what I was going through. These connections have been transformative, allowing me to express my frustrations and fears with those of a similar age, without judgement."
Every day, ten rangatahi will hear the devastating news that their parent has cancer. Canteen provides a space for rangatahi to connect with others who understand.
"The isolation exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic made my situation even more daunting. Lockdowns prevented in-person hospital visits, heightening my sense of helplessness. However, Canteen’s virtual support became a lifeline, connecting me with others facing similar challenges from home. I learned the importance of community and the power of shared experiences in overcoming feelings of loneliness.
Canteen’s support gave me the confidence to discuss my mum’s diagnosis with friends and whānau. My friends at school began to understand, and I discovered that sharing my experience not only helped me, but also educated others about the complexities of living with a loved one’s illness. Canteen has fostered this growth, encouraging me to step outside my comfort zone and develop leadership skills through their programmes."
Canteen supports rangatahi impacted by cancer to gain social, development, and leadership skills using a range of different pathways and programmes.
"Joining the Canteen Leadership Programme has given me a renewed sense of purpose. I want to give back to the community that has supported me and advocate for others experiencing similar challenges. This journey has enhanced my communication skills and deepened my empathy for those facing difficulties. It has solidified my aspiration to become a paediatric oncology nurse, as I wish to support young patients and their families through their own experiences.
Ultimately, the support from Canteen has been essential to my personal development. It has taught me resilience and the value of connection, providing me with a sense of belonging in a community that truly understands. I have forged lasting friendships at Canteen, and gained practical coping strategies that will stay with me throughout my life. I have learned that when someone in a family has cancer, it affects everyone who loves them. Through the support of Canteen, I have not only found strength in myself but also the courage to uplift others.
The journey with my mum’s illness is ongoing, but thanks to Canteen, I know I don’t have to face it alone. Knowing that my support worker and other rangatahi at Canteen are here to support me makes it so much easier and a huge relief, which I am so grateful for."
