A cancer diagnosis can impact an individual’s relationships and social interactions with those closest to them. Managing these aspects of life during cancer treatment can be tricky, particularly for rangatahi, as they are already at a unique stage in their social, emotional and cognitive development. 

This resource will offer helpful insights into navigating relationships and social life during cancer treatment and will lay out some helpful cancer support strategies for those impacted.

Opening up about your cancer: 

It can be tough for rangatahi to talk about what they’re going through when facing cancer. Sometimes, it might feel like no one really understands what it's like, or they may not want to worry others. But being open about feelings, both physical and emotional, can be an important step towards successfully navigating relationships and social life during cancer treatment.

• Friends: It can be difficult to explain what’s happening, especially when friends may not fully understand what is involved in cancer treatment. Sharing experiences helps friends offer support, whether in the form of a listening ear or companionship (note: each person has a different amount they feel safe sharing). Rangatahi can also tell friends what topics they’d like to discuss (e.g., cancer, or normal everyday things). 
• Whānau: Family members might become overprotective or worried, so keeping an open dialogue about needs and feelings is essential. This helps ensure that family members are providing the right kind of support during this time. 
• Romantic Relationships: For those in relationships, cancer treatment can affect emotional and physical intimacy. Being open with partners about feelings and experiences is vital. This can help ensure that both partners understand what the other needs during this challenging time. 

• Things to remember: Some friends and whānau members may not know how to respond to some cancer conversation topics and may not say anything at all, which can be hurtful. Giving your friends and whānau members the opportunity to ask questions about cancer may help. 

Setting realistic expectations: 

Cancer treatment can drastically affect energy levels and mental clarity, which can interfere with everyday activities and socialising. It’s helpful for rangatahi to set realistic expectations for themselves and others. 

• Social Media and Communication: It’s common for rangatahi to feel disconnected from their friends if they aren’t as active on social media or responding to messages as they used to. It’s helpful for them to let their friends know they might be taking a break to focus on their health. This can prevent misunderstandings and ensure their friends are not left wondering why they haven't heard from them. 
• Knowing Their Limits: Cancer treatment may involve difficult side effects, which may leave rangatahi too tired or unwell to participate in social events. It’s perfectly okay to decline invitations when not feeling up to it, sometimes it’s better to rest and conserve energy for more important moments. 
• Setting boundaries: It’s important for rangatahi to feel comfortable setting limits on what they discuss with friends and whānau. For example, they may choose to talk about cancer for a set amount of time and then shift the conversation to other topics, such as hobbies or daily life. 

Building a Support System:

During cancer treatment, having a strong support system can make a helpful difference. Whether it’s through their friends and whānau or online communities, the people who understand and offer support can make a huge difference in coping with the emotional and physical impact of treatment.  

• Friends Who Understand: While it can be hard for friends to fully grasp what a person with cancer is going through, most will want to help in any way they can. Friends who offer emotional support, practical support such as driving or making meals, or simply hanging out and spending time together can be invaluable during treatment.  
• Connect With Like-Minded Individuals: It’s normal to feel like whānau and friends can’t understand what going through cancer treatment is like. Through Canteen, rangatahi can meet others who understand similar feelings at cancer support events. There are also online support communities, like Canteen Connect, where they can connect with others going through similar experiences. These connections and friendships can be incredibly comforting, especially for those who don’t have peers nearby. 

Managing Changes in Appearance:

Cancer treatment can lead to changes in physical appearance that can be especially difficult for rangatahi, who are already navigating body image concerns due to their developmental stage of life. 

• Body Positivity: It’s important to remember that these physical changes are often temporary, but some people may face longer-term changes, such as scarring from surgery, amputation, or alterations like a mastectomy or removal of a limb. It’s normal to experience grief or a sense of loss regarding changes to appearance or body. Allowing time to heal emotionally and mentally and practising self-compassion is essential. Ultimately, these physical changes do not define a person’s worth. The people who truly care about them will focus on their personality, spirit, and strength beyond their appearance. 
• Support from Trusted Friends: Talking openly about how they feel about their changing appearance can help rangatahi ease the burden. Close friends and whānau can offer encouragement and reassurance during these times of vulnerability. 
• Exploring New Styles: For those experiencing hair loss, experimenting with scarves, hats, or wigs can be a fun way to regain control over their appearance. Embracing new styles can help them feel more like themselves during treatment. Canteen’s iconic bandannas can be a great new accessory to adopt a new style.  

Rebuilding Social Life After Treatment:

Once cancer treatment is complete, there may be an urge to jump back into social lives. While it’s natural for rangatahi to want to catch up on everything they missed, they should remember that recovery takes time, both physically and emotionally. 

• Pacing Social Re-entry: Taking things slow when returning to social activities is important. Rushing back into a busy social calendar can be overwhelming. Instead, ease back into socialising, focusing on one or two important events at a time. 
• Celebrating Milestones: Completing treatment is a major achievement, and it’s important to celebrate the progress made. While reflecting on progress can sometimes bring up feelings of change and loss, acknowledging milestones along the way can also provide a sense of accomplishment and hope. It’s important to note that it’s ok to acknowledge different emotions when celebrating milestones, both pleasant and unpleasant. 
• Focusing on Meaningful Relationships: After treatment, rangatahi may find that they value deeper, more meaningful relationships. Cancer can change the way they view others, and what is important to them, helping them prioritise those who offered true support and care.
• Adapting Hobbies: Rangatahi who have been impacted by cancer may not be able to jump back into the hobbies they used to be part of and may need to find something more accessible for them. Read our resource about fun activities and hobbies for rantagahi impacted by cancer.  

 
We help with Cancer Support for Rangatahi

It’s important to remember that rangatahi don’t have to face cancer alone. Canteen is here to provide therapeutic support for individuals aged 12-24 impacted by cancer. We can help rangatahi manage changing dynamics, provide individual support, and connect with others who understand what rangatahi are going through.